BACK TO MAIN JOKES PAGE

Two high-school buddies were attending the senior prom. "Suzy wants to go out to my car. She's really hot," one boy said. "I'm really nervous. I know I'll goof up!" "Take it easy," his friend assured him. "All you gotta do is compliment her. Chicks love to be complemented. You'll have her in the palm of your hand." About a half-hour later the young man came back, rubbing a black eye. "Shit, man! What happened to you?!" his buddy asked. "I took your advice." "Didn't you compliment her?" "Sure I did. We got in my car and started kissing. I told her that for such full lips, hers sure tasted sweet. She liked that. After a while I started feeling her tits, and I told her that for such large breasts they sure were firm. She like that too." "It sounds like you were doing great," his friend said. "Well," the other answered, "that's when everything went wrong. I got her dress up and her panties off, and I tried to think of another compliment." "What did you say?" "For such a large crack, it doesn't stink much."

TWO TAMPONS WERE CROSSING THE STREET. THEY SEE A FRIEND. WHICH ONE WAVES? NEITHER, THEY ARE BOTH STUCK UP CUNTS.  

Q. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A. Ask your mother. 

Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex? A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.  

Q. What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A. A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.  

Q. What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? A. Spitting, swallowing and gargling 

Q. When is a pixie not a pixie? A. When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin.'  

Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony? A. She is the one who can eat the last donut 

Q. Did you hear about the new paint called "Blonde" paint? A. It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.

My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in. 

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" The woman says, "I'll miss you." 

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said -That's a good idea...you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. 

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumour